Sebastian's Halloween Hell
by Raven-2010
Summary: Halloween's nearing and Sebastian's setting up for the party, a new employee arrives in the strangest way, later it's Sebastian VS thieving his deserts new comer. hHs Beautiful new maid brings happiness to 18 yr old Ciel. Pluto has a new cohort with a secret mysterious feline partner in crime hunting a pest. Mey Rin gets a surprise. Raw humor, OOC, comedy romance, limes Ciel/Kag


**Disclaimer, I do not own Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji, owner Yano Toboso. Or Inuyasha owner Rumiko Takahashi. Rated R**

Sebastian's planning the yearly Halloween party. Hilarity hits hard when a goody thieving with a sweet tooth and addiction to Sebastian's deserts someone is hired, in an epic war it's Sebastian VS the sweet toothed wiseass. A pretty maid brings happiness and good changes, 18 year old Ciel is treated to hilarity and loving every minute of it. Written for **Anime's Lover K K**. **A/N** New chap added for **Fluffy Cuddles** starts story, other chaps added theoughout fic,**TheLostPrincessOfTheEast.** thanks.** Black Butler/Inuyasha** Crossover, OOC,ness raw humor, comedy, romance limes. **Ciel/Kagome**

**Sebastian's Halloween Hell**

**By Raven-2010, April 1 2013**

**New in town, special delivery, invitations for all, the unveiling, Halloween bat cookies, double feast**

He had stopped by to ask for directions and met Grell "Oh so gorgeous stop my beating heart," with one hand over his heart Grell gushed after opening the door and catching sight of him "Well hello there" Want to take a moon light stroll and maybe share a kiss or two?"

"Eeeeew, disgusting," the male replied "Tell ya what grow some tits an ass and a bush then maybe I'll give it a whirl,"

"You sure know how to hurt a girl,"Grell whined

"Send a real one in and I'll show you how it's done,"

"Maybe I ought to reap you that would teach you some manners," Grell threatened

"Oh boo hoo, somebody hold me I am shivering with fear the big bad reaper is going to take me out with his big scary death scythe this is my last day on earth. Please my brother has toe nail clippings scarier than that,"

"Say that after I reap you bright boy," Grell shot back

"I'd cry if I cared but I don't so I won't,"

"Hold still and we'll test that theory," Grell dared

"Been dead before so I guess that takes the fun out of it for you" hah?

"I can be very creative," Grell shot back "Want me to show you?

"So can I if only you knew you'd die of shock" want to try it out? I am really good at killing," the male needled "You know you haven't lived until you've drank a man's blood from a human skull," he smirked at wide eyed shocked Grell

"B-b-blood, skull, drink," Grell stammered

"Got wax in your ears or something?

"Somebody kill somebody I don't care who business has been slow all week I need a body for the coffin," Inuyasha, and Grell stopped in in mid argument turning their heads looking at the undertaker wide eyed wearing comical WTF looks, he grinned "More than one will do you know what they say boys ones good but two is even better than one,"

"You bounder" who the bloody hell do you think you are to try and make a reaper of all things a reaper your damned corpse model? You wanker" Grell snapped

"Let's see I've been in England for a while" what can I use? Ah ha, nah wanker is too good for him let's try sheep shagger,"

"Hah. Seep shagger seriously? You don't think he does that with the dead do you? Grell insulted

"Sorry boys, let's have some tea call it a draw and let bigons be bigons" shall we? Undertaker replied

"Yeah sure fine whatever, just remember you old geezer that these will be here if ya fink off on your promise," Inuyasha warningly said flexing his claws

"You have nothing to worry about boy's I am an honorable man and mums the word," Undertaker answered

Later at Ciel's mansion

A horse drawn carriage carrying a delivery approached the manor the carriage pulled up and stopped just outside the front door two men started unloading the large wooden crate. One of the men walked over to the door and knocked. Sebastian answered "How may I help you gentlemen?

"We were sent here to bring this delivery to the Phantomhive Manor," one of the men replied

"I do not recall any orders being made or packages scheduled for delivery today," Sebastian replied

"The gent who sent this paid for everything and told us to bring it here," the man said "Maybe it's a gift to the lord something nice like a statue or something, by the weight of it that'd be my guess,"

"Perhaps," Sebastian answered "Very well gentlemen you may bring it in,"

"Thanks" they responded, they brought it in and set it down where Sebastian asked them to

"Good day to you sir," the man tipping his hat to Sebastian said

"Good day to you as well and thank you," they left "Hm, now what on earth could you be? He looked around no one was there so he used his demonic strength to pull the lid off "What is this?

"My, my that is a big crate yes it is," Mey Rin's voice broke the silence

"What do you suppose is in it?" Fin asked

"Maybe it's a dead body," Bard wisecracked, they looked at him like a he was a madman "Wimps"

"Bloody hell that isn't funny you know," Mey Rin scolded

"This one's a bleeding morbid zombie who should live in a damned graveyard," Fin said

"What are you lot going on about? Ciel asked then caught sight of the crate "Ordered a shipment of dynamite I see Bard" he teased "Don't you think this is going a tad overboard? It's enough for an army"

"Very funny not," Bard replied

"He seems to think there's a body in it," Mey Rin told him "The ghoul,"

"Lovely we're in the corpse business and no one bothered to tell me or invite me to the party, I feel so left out," Ciel teased

"Sniff and I thought we were friends," he added wiping away a fake tear

"Young lord,"

"Yes Bassy dear?"

"Perhaps you should come and take a look at this," Ciel did the others followed

"Interesting" Ciel exclaimed "Someone had kind thoughts I see,"

"Oh hell it's a coffin," Bard exclaimed "A bloody coffin,"

Sebastian lifted the lid and looked "The new gardener I presume? He said to the waking up man inside,

"And look he comes with his own rake to," Fin added when he saw the man's arms wrapped around it

"Kill undertaker first gardening later," the man replied

"Undertaker" They all said

"Should we be surprised? The bloke has the sickest sense of humor in all England" Bard commented

"What is your name," Sebastian asked

"Inuyasha, Inuyasha Taisho," he answered then smirked "Inuyasha the dealer of slow death assassin Taisho,"

"How much do you charge by the hour? Bard teased

"If it's that bag of bones known as undertaker it's free," Inuyasha wisecracked smirking evilly

"Welcome" Ciel greeted "But I am curious, how on earth did you end up in the coffin?"

"I stopped at the undertakers place to ask for directions to the Phantomhive estate, I met this loony guy named" lets what did he call himself Grill no Grell? That's it Grell, he tried pitching woo with me eew we started arguing, undertaker made a wisecrack about needing a body for a coffin, I made one. He mentioned letting bygones be bygones over a cup of tea now I'm here," Inuyasha explained

"Drugged the tea," Ciel exclaimed

"Can somebody point me in the direction of town? I have an undertaker to kill" Inuyasha said "Don't know what happened to that Grell guy though,"

"Bassy, Basssssy?" a shrill voice broke the silence

Inuyasha smirked "Never mind,"

Sebastian followed its directionto the garden, unexpected was the sight of Grell tied to a pole wearing only hay tied around his arms and legs and a small patch covering his male pride looking very much like a scarecrow. Hanging by a string tere was a note tied to one of his toes

_**Master Ciel I thought you could use this one of a kind scarecrow **_

_**He is a horror to behold but will scare the poor crows to death keeping your lovely garden safe**_

_**Your loyal friend**_

_**Undertaker**_

"Bassy my love you've come to save me oh Bassy I knew you would,"

"Will you stop that it is revolting?" Sebastian replied "Or I may have to reap the reaper,"

"I am going to reap that wanker," Grell bit

"That's one thing we have in common," Inuyasha said "Kill first ask questions later,"

"What you to? What did that bounder do to you?

"Sent me here in a coffin shipped packed inside a crate," the hanyou answered

"Really" The miserable geezer drugged our tea, sneaky bastard"

"He acts more like a sneaky wench then an actual wench does," Inuyasha joked

"True, this is definitely something a woman would do,"

"Keep that in mind boys," smiling evilly Mey Rin said they looked wide eyed "When you act up," the males gulped

"I'll let ya lock me in a box if you're naked inside it alone with me otherwise nothing doing," the hanyou teased

"Mey Rin, and Inuyasha shagging in a tree one push, two thrusts, and boom on three," Bard, and Fin taunted

"More like boom on the count of ninety nine good humping takes time," Inuyasha added "Slow lovin," thrusting his hips

At first Mey Rin was going to explode and commit double murder then a thought struck her "Sure I'll even let you two simps watch lord knows you virgins need to learn sometime, being very, very inexperienced and all,"

"Whaaat? Bard, and Fin shrieked

"Cough, shit and they say I'm bad, damn I've got nothing on her," the grinning hanyou said

"You're hired," smiling Ciel told him

"Thanks boss man," and this was his introduction to the Phantomhive estate and his new home

With Inuyasha, and Grell

"You know we gotta get that bastard right,"

"Yes I quite agree" but what to do? Grell replied "Cutting his Willy off is too kind,"

"Yeah we've got to get him three times for every trick he plays on us, he shipped me here in a coffin packed inside a crate,"

"And dressed me up in his perverted version of a scarecrow," Grell added

"I have an idea Grellsy old palsy walsy this is going to be epic,"

"I see the beginning of a beautiful friendship,"

"As long as it stays above the waist we've got no problem," Inuyasha wisecracked

"Kill joy,"

"Now let's start planning," Inuyasha said

In town 3 days later in Ciel's office

"What is this? Ciel asked as Sebastian placed an envelope on his desk

"It appears to be an invitation,"

"To what prey tell?"Ciel replied

"Open it and find out,"

"Lord Ciel Phantomhive you and your staff are cordially invited to attend the unveiling of a new statue and dedication at the town square Friday 2: pm," Ciel read aloud

"Interesting, I shall make preparations,"

"I imagine Elizabeth and the others have received invitations as well," Ciel said "Let's get this over with the sooner the better,"

Flashes of light awoke him from his slumber his eyes still unfocused he rubbed them trying to clear his vision before opening them. As the flashes continued he'd soon discover why everyone was gathered around him snapping photos when he saw his reflection in one of the shop windows, he wanted to run hide and commit murder at the same time. His lips painted red blond hair and the tightest most revealing low cut bright red dress with matching roses in his hair. Ah but that wasn't the worst part in the middle of town he was being displayed inside one of his own standing up with the door open coffins a large oak wood deluxe coffin that had been relined with pink cloth

"Mornin sunshine," Inuyasha taunted

"Hey sexy if only I liked women I'd do you in a second," Grell needled "And that coffin is easily roomy enough for two,"

"Oh she is lovely yes she is," Mey Rin praised

"And that dress I adore it so," Elizabeth added

"What a pretty bird," Bard said

"Unbelievable" with an open palm on his head Ciel commented "My gardener and your reaper," he whispered to Sebastian

"I must admit they did a rather expert job," Sebastian praised

"Is-is that undertaker? Fin whispered to Sebastian

"Indeed it is,"

"Poor bloke," Fin replied

"With Inuyasha, and Grell he hasn't a chance," Sebastian said

"Sebastian? Ciel called

"Yes young lord?

Noticing the strange look in undertakers eyes after the death glare disappeared "I have a funny feelin," Ciel started

"Oh lord Inuyasha you've come back to make an honest woman of me, after our passionate night together I am with child, oh how I've missed you," undertaker gushed "I just know you will make a wonderful and caring father,"

"We-we ne-never," left eye twitching stammering Inuyasha replied pulling at his collar as if choking

"And you Grell thanks to you I have this wonderful man, you'll be the bridesmaid," undertaker added throwing himself at Inuyasha "Guess what my love it's going to be twins,' pinching Inuyasha's cheeks

"Get off you homicidal wench wannabe," Inuyasha snapped trying to push undertaker off of him

"Bridesmaid," Grell said

"Aw don't be shy you weren't shy when we you know did what we did," winking undertaker teased

"You lying prick, I think I am going to puke," Inuyasha snapped

"He-he he's turned it on them," laughing and gasping for air Ciel said "Spec-spectacular,"

"This really is quite entertaining" don't you think young lord? Sebastian added making Ciel laugh harder

"I know Grell was your love but your mine now and I do not share" why what kind of woman would I be if I did? Why that would be absolutely scandalous, I'd never be able to show my face in public ever again why I would have to leave town we can't have that" now can we? Undertaker needled

"I'll kill you," the flaming red hanyou bellowed

"You-you-you bounder you drugged our tea defiled and humiliated us," equally as red Grell snapped "Bleeding wanker I ought to reap you,"

"Tsk, tsk now don't feel left out I have the most wonderful and attractive casket reserved for you," undertaker jabbed

"And I have a damned bloody razor sharp scythe with your name on it," Grell snapped and his scythe appeared

"I have a nice set of ten little desperately in need of sharpening claws to offer," the furious hanyou added

"This looks interesting I bet on the redhead to get the first hit," one male onlooker said

"I bet twenty pounds on the silver haired lad to make the killing blow," another offered

"I bet fifty," a third added they mounted their horses and rode off following the chase

"Hope you're ready to die," closing in on him Inuyasha bit

"Well I'll be off now lady things to do and all, a wedding to plan," undertaker said turned and the chase was on "Wee try and keep up boys you know how a lady hates to be kept waiting," they were followed by the riding horseback men who had placed bets on them

"Shall we? Ciel asked

"Yes let's," Sebastian answered

"I have money on that I'm coming with," Bard said

"Come on everyone get in," Ciel told them signaling them to get in the carriage "Personally I bet two hundred pounds on undertaker to get them in the end,"

They quickly caught up with the running trio "Blimey look at him go," Bard exclaimed

"Wow undertaker moves so fast it's inhuman," Fin commented

"Tell us Bard, who have you placed your bet on? Sebastian asked

"Fifty pounds on undertaker,"

Later that week

"That was fabulous so tasty, I thought you boys would never speak to me again," undertaker said

"Forgive and forget that's what mom always said," Inuyasha replied

"As for me I have better things to do with my time rather than holding a grudge," Grell added

"Bat shaped for Halloween how cute" what is in those cookies? They are wonderful" undertaker asked

"Anise" Inuyasha answered

"And?

"Flour eggs milk sugar the usual," the hanyou answered

"Yes I know all that I mean that extra ingredient you know the one that gives them that extra crunch" what is it?

"Something special," Grell chimed in

"Oh my stomach," holding his stomach undertaker exclaimed

"What's the matter old man?" Grell wisecracked

"Ah it's nothing geezer gas happens to old geezer's one good fart and he'll be good to go," Inuyasha teased

"Not gas idio-ow idiots oh," holding his stomach undertaker moaned "Hell I believe I'm dying,"

"Drama queen," Grell jabbed

"Still want to know what gave them that extra crunch?

"Oh, what you annoying dog, bloody hell?" undertaker groaned his face twisted in pain

"Okay but remember you asked, a few pinches of cremated dead man's ashes it's my secret ingredient. But shhh can't tell anyone it's a secret kay," Inuyasha replied. Undertaker looked as though he was about to barf

"Yes dear and that little tiny tummy ache you have would be from my secret ingredient a laxative made by my own two loving hands," Grell tauntingly replied

"Dead man's ashes, laxative?" When and I ouch mean when this is over you-you two Neanderthals are dead," undertaker replied and leapt up taking off toward the bathroom

"Poor dumb bastard really believes I put dead man's ashes in the cookies fine ground cornmeal always works great for extra crunchiness," gloating Inuyasha said "Oh well I always was one sadistic bastard,"

"I almost pity him, then again nah I don't," Grell exclaimed

2 days after

Piercing screams cut through the silence of the early morning hours rousing all the sleeping residents of the mansion out of their peaceful slumber, after a few moans and eye rubbing some pushed by curiosity rose intent on going to investigate, while others decided to go back to sleep. However another ear splitting scream rousted the occupants once more the ones who had started to fall back to sleep groaned in frustration, others harbored murderous thoughts. Sebastian being the fastest arrived on the scene first for a demon hundreds of years old and who had seen weird strange even horrible things but for the first time was shocked beyond belief, Ciel was next to arrive followed by the others. Eyes widened by the unbelievable sight before them

There in the basement was Inuyasha lying on his back tied to a table, and Grell on the other and each with a sheet rigged in front of them like a curtain so they could not see their lower halves but not so high that they could not see undertaker. Undertaker was humming happily knife and fork busy cutting and eating pieces of meat. Inuyasha shrieked when another piece was cut off and eaten. Grell who feared nothing was horrified surprising all there with the fear in his eyes and shivering in terror, Ciel stood speechless to shocked to utter a word, undertaker grinned sensing them there he turned and looking at them

"Would you gents like some?

"Ah, no thanks," Ciel replied

"Your all invited to partake in the feast there's plenty to go around,"

"Shi-shit," Fin gasped

"He he's eating us but we can't feel it because the prick numbed us from the waist down," Inuyasha said "Help us before we bleed to death," The bottom of the sheets were indeed stained red

"Are you going to stand there and watch or help us? We're going to die" Grell cried out "I'm too young and pretty to die,"

"Pretty, we're facing imminent death and you're worried about beauty?" Inuyasha snapped "Un-be-fucking-lievable, if we survive this remind later on to kick your ass and beat some sense into ya,"

"No-no-no not again," Grell wailed when undertaker who was now at his table began slicing and eating "Stop, Bassy my love help me,"

"Bloody hell he's, he's actually eating them," Bard exclaimed

"Oh I cannot watch this," Mey Rin said "I'm going to vomit," she clamped a hand over her mouth

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real I tell you," Fin chanted more to try and convince himself then others

"Well I'm still sleepy I'm going back to bed goodnight I mean morning all see you later," yawning Ciel said "Gardener you have the day off enjoy it," he then turned to leave

"What? Are you shitting me? Moron he's eating us there is no day off we'll be dead soon," the hanyou bit

"Undertaker"

"Yes mi lord?

"When you're through bury them out back," Ciel replied before disappearing "Cannot have rotting remains stinking up the place,"

"Consider it done," undertaker answered

"You prick I am going to come back and haunt you for life," Inuyasha yelled after Ciel

"Yes I need some more dog meat," undertaker taunted returning to Inuyasha and began slicing and eating "You know what they say boy's white meat is lean so I get to enjoy a feast and keep my girlish figure,"

"Aren't we going to help them? Bard whispered in Sebastian's ear

"Take a good look,"

Bard looked and saw what he meant "Guess I'll be leaving now, see you later chum," Bard said looking at Inuyasha and left

"Bastard," Inuyasha snapped

"I'll take my leave now enjoy you're day," Sebastian casually added then turned to leave

"Bassy how can you do this to me," sad looking Grell added

"See you later fellas," Fin said following Sebastian and Mey Rin after them

"Heeeeey," Inuyasha, and Grell screamed

Upstairs

Ciel was leaning against the wall laughing so hard he was crying he gave into gravity allowing his body to slide down the wall landing on his butt on the floor. Sebastian was nearly dying from laughing so hard "It seems they have not figured it out yet undertaker is actually slicing and eating pork on a plate behind the sheet blocking the view of their lower halves,"

"Dear lord undertaker is a sick de-depraved man," Mey Rin managed to say

And the stained red sheets look so damned real "Un-under-undertaker is a bleeding genius," gasping for air Bard praised

"Master of evil," Mey Rin added

"Some of his finest work I must say," Sebastian said "For a moment I nearly believed he was actually eating them

'When-when they find out he'll need one of his own coffins," panting Fin got out

**How it began, sweet tooth, dogs and tails, cookie thief **

"Don't do it," Fin warned "If you value your life do not do is" don't you want to live?

"I gotta, if I don't I'll die,"

"He has a death wish yes he does," Mey Rin added "Go ahead have at it and you will die,"

"This bloke has not a care about his own continued existence," Bard commented

"I gotta have it, I gotta have it or I'll die, I'll die without it I tell ya," the male said

"Well I'll start digging the grave out back," Bard exclaimed

"And I will get to work on carving the headstone," Fin told them

"I am going to start making his black suit for the funeral," Mey Rin added

"Yeah, fine, whatever, chicken shits,"

"It's you're funeral," Mey Rin, Fin, and Bard replied

"Wimps," the male shot back "Not one good set of balls between ya,"

"Dead man," They responded. Hearing approaching footsteps "See you later," Bard, Mey Rin, and Finny said

"You chicken shits," he exclaimed as they took off

"Hey fellas I'm not really leaving" are you? Mey Rin asked

"Nope hiding and watching," Finn answered

"Would not miss this for all the money in the world hehehe," laughing not above a whisper Bardroy added

"What the bloody hell? Mey Rin said as she looked on

"I cannot be seeing this," rubbing his eyes in disbelief Bard exclaimed then looked again "He is, he's on the ceiling like a bloody spider," the male got the door to the attic above the table open and slipped inside perching

Next a homemade fishing line with a hook on one end stealthy descended down from the ceiling slowly inching toward the basket filled with muffins and cookies. The hook latched onto the basket handle easily and started to rise up off the table. Crash followed by a string of curses was heard when Sebastian yanked the fishing line pulling the thief down and said thief landing none to gently on the big table while gracefully catching the falling basket with his free hand. Sebastian smirked triumphantly when the thief glared at him with piercing eyes

"Now, now let us have none of that," Sebastian casually teased "Nice to see you again,"

"Why you, I otta," the male started

"Ought to what? I do believe you are the party at fault here" you are the thief here are you not? Isn't that right Bardroy, Finny, and Mey Rin?

"How does he do it? The three bewildered staff members replied

"You may come out from your hiding place now," Sebastian told them

"Yes Sebastian," they returned to the kitchen

"See we tried to tell you," Bard reminded

"Traitors" he griped

"We have a new maid she starts today," Sebastian announced

"Good another girl now I won't be outnumbered by the boys," smiling Mey Rin said "Where is she?

"She is currently putting her things in her room I put her in the room next to yours,"

"Oh thank you Sebastian," she replied

They were so busy talking about the new arrival that they did not notice the thief had and was about escape with a blueberry pie. Suddenly a voice broke through everything "Sit" crash bang Sebastian easily caught the flying pie "Bad dog, bad dog,"

"Damn you, you evil wench the devil sent you" didn't he?

"Thieving dog he knows I am the only one who can handle you," Kagome shot back "Do you ever learn sweet fang? One day that sweet tooth of yours is going to cost you your life,"

"Double crossing wench it'll be nothing but you that costs me my life," Inuyasha griped "Maybe I'll settle for some wench pie instead homemade is always the best," the evilly grinning licking his lips hanyou winked

"Holy bloody hell," Bard, and Finny exclaimed in unison

"I-I never knew he was such a dirty pervert," Mey Rin said "He looks so innocent to,"

"Sorry doggy you couldn't afford it, he was innocent he's changed this is new," Kagome told them "I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself I'm Kagome," they introduced themselves to one another

"I see sweet tooth has struck again," Ciel's voice chimed in "A pervert as well is in my employ? Lovely,"

"What? Sweet meat no sugar required," the wiseass licking his lips hanyou replied "Shave off the fur coat pull back the bars and ya got a sweet bun with full unhindered access to the tasty chewy center," at that he showed one fang over his lip

"No thanks,"

"Don't knock it till you've tried it boss man," Inuyasha teased "Lick smacking good, slurp,"

"Unlike you my menu will remain a private secret never to be seen by prying eyes," Ciel replied

"Shave the fur coat off? The indignant miko replied "Maybe I ought to shave, wait I got something better. Sit Rover," crash

"Young lord this is our new staff addition Kagome," Sebastian introduced

"Nice to meet you," Ciel said shook her hand then lightly kissed the back of it

"Master Cie," Bard, and Finny started

"Not a word," Ciel replied then left the room, 18 year old Ciel had grown tall and handsome like his father making him well sought after by females

'Interesting he's never done that before' Sebastian thought

"Sebastian,"

"Yes my lord,"

"Please kill him, and in whatever way that strikes your fancy," Ciel smiled wickedly as he was leaving the kitchen "And do enjoy it as well,"

"Gulp, whatever strikes his fancy, oh crap," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Yes young lord thank you," Sebastian answered cracking his knuckles

"You are very welcome,"

"Rat fink," Inuyasha griped

The following day

If anything Inuyasha was a determined dog overly determined but determined none the less he had a plan a despicable one that may cost him his life but as he always said live fast die young and leave a good looking corpse. Sebastian had his freshly laundered tailcoat hanging in his room, he had gone on an outing to town with Ciel so he'd be gone for a while giving him ample time to do his dastardly deed and escape. Inuyasha may have to leave town but it was so worth it he thought

"There see how you like this princess," he gloated after finishing

Three hours later

Sebastian, and Ciel returned as he always did Sebastian brewed a pot of tea for Ciel Earl Grey his favorite. Sebastian would see to his own business after he finished the rest of his tasks, he gave Ciel his tea and desert. Sebastian headed to his room he was looking forward to a nice hot bath and some relaxation, he opened the door to his room turned the light and gasped not believing that he'd seen what he had just saw he closed and rubbed his eyes then looked again and wanted to commit long slow painful murder. Inuyasha had cut the tails off of his tailcoat sewn on in their place were layers of feathers resembling a birds tail feathers

"Son of a bitch," never loses control or cusses Sebastian cursed "So that's the way it is hah,"

The gloating hanyou was thrilling "Sucker" why do stupid cats always think they can outdo dogs?

The next morning all awoke early bathed and readied themselves for the day ahead, every one headed straight for the kitchen for breakfast "Good morning all," the grinning dog greeted

"Inuyasha what did you do? Kagome asked

"Jeez wench good morning to you to, and I didn't do anything, now drop your knickers and let's eat,"

"You deranged pervert your one hundred times worse than Miroku, you did something don't know what but you did, I'll find out I can wait," Kagome replied

He was about to protest when "Ow what the hell man?" he bit when he was thrown over Bard's lap and spanked "What the fuck? Better let go before I kill ya"

"You've been a bad boy," Bard teased and let him up

"Oh yeah I'll show you a bad boy," Inuyasha snapped he was about to deck Bard when

"Stop being such a prima donna," Bard shot back

"Hey" what the hell? This time he found himself being spanked by Mey Rin he turned his head and looked "Well this could be fun," he winked pervertedly "Meet me out back toots and I'll show you a few doggie tricks,"

"Mey Rin kinky," grinning Fin said as he entered the kitchen

"Our girl hid this juicy little bit from us all of this time," Bardroy commented

"A girl doing it is different than a guy nimrod," Inuyasha said with a devious glint in his eyes he was enjoying his place over her warn comfy lap "A little to the left sweet lips, ah that's it,"

"Okay all done now," Mey Rin teased

"Aw already and I just got nice and comfy," he replied than "Finny the fish boy I am going to rip your friggin face off," he snapped when fin started whacking his butt with a rolled up towel

"I'm only doing what it says,"

"Doing what, what says? Inuyasha answered

"On your back just above your ass there's a sign that says I've been a bad dog spank me,"

"Say what?

Kagome looked "Oh would you look at that it's embroidered on your pants high class job too,"

"And look at the fancy writing," Bard pointed

"My pants, embroidered on my damned pants?" the hanyou griped "When I get my claws on that rat bastard I am going to kill him,"

"Sebastian" everyone said in unison

"Did someone call my name? Smiling evilly Sebastian said

"Lovely a Sebastian Michaelis masterpiece first thing in the morning," Ciel exclaimed "Guess this makes my day,"

"You I am going to kill you," Inuyasha yelled and was about to lunge until Sebastian held something up

"Look everyone this is my new tailcoat" lovely isn't it? Thanks to sir slice and stitch," Sebastian held the former coattail jacket up for all to see

"Bloody hell he cut the tails off and replaced them with layers feathersyes he did," Mea Rin exclaimed

"And it looks like a birds tail," Kagome added

"He even layered them perfectly starting with the shortest and finishing with the longest," Ciel said

"What are you bitching about I didn't charge ya for it?" Inuyasha jabbed

"Yes and I did not charge you for my lovely embroidery work," Sebastian shot back "Dog,"

"You, you,"

"You what" Sebastian asked "Do you have a sin or misdeed you'd like to confess? You're thievery maybe?

"I took nothing ya wind bag only borrowed, b-o-r-r-o-w-e-d" got it? Spelling it to bug Sebastian

"Hm, the last time I checked taking without asking first is stealing, s-t-e-a-l-i-n-g" got it? Sebastian replied "As you all know Halloween is fast approaching it is also our young lords favorite holiday, and a personal favorite of mine as well. Treats will be made, theft of said items will be punishable by death slow painful death very painful," the last part mentioned while staring at Inuyasha "Is that understood?

"Ooo" Fin exclaimed

"Did you hear that? H said it twice yes he did" Mey Rin said

"Twice he means business," Bard added

Under Sebastian's steely gaze Inuyasha tugged at his shirt collar as if it were choking him "Eh, whatever,"

"Remember I always have a spare coffin available," visiting undertaker exclaimed

"Ghoul" Inuyasha said glaring daggers

**Booby traps, Halloween pie treat, Halloween girl, the secret stash, tree lovin**

"Hm treats he said, okay cat boy I'm up for it hope you are," the scheming hanyou mumbled "There ya go all set now," his masterpiece done he hauled ass swiftly leaving the scene of the crime

Happy Sebastian was humming as he walked down the hall "Master Ciel,"

"Ah Lord Sebastian, how are ya this fine and lovely day?" Ciel teased imitating a Scottish accent flawlessly and bowing

"Young lord I hope you won't think it indelicate of me to ask" but have you been drinking?

"Nah just happy very happy," Ciel smiled it was rare "But hey if you want to sneak a little taste I won't stop you,"

"I see" the new maid is responsible for this I presume? The smirking butler responded

"No comment, use your imagination, I will see you later," Ciel took off yelling back "Take a day off you work too hard,"

"Ah hah the maid it is," Sebastian was grinning

Sebastian continued on toward his room when he reached his destination he reached out turned the door knob and opened the door not bothering to turn on the light he stepped in closing it behind him. He disrobed then headed in to his bathroom for a nice hot bath, he drew his bath got in and sunk down into the water enjoying the heat lovingly caressing his body. After about an hour he pulled the plug stepped out and as the tub drained he dried himself and got dressed

'Come on cat papa dog needs a thrill' the dementedly grinning hanyou thought

"Boo"

"Son of a," he started then looked "Damn it Kagome would you stop doing that shit I'm a demon and it's creeping me out?"

"Aw it's Halloween month" is da poor wittle baby all scareded up? She teased

"As if wench I ain't scared of anything,"

"Don't worry my poor little canine I will protect you," she teased stroking one ear "Promise"

"Females your all nuts," he replied as she stroked "Ear whacking wench,"

"Want me to hold your hand when you go trick or treating?

"I'll give you something to hold if you keep it up," he replied

"Inuyasha you pervert,"

"What the hell do you expect I am all dog?" batting his eyes

"Yes Rover, hm Rover Taisho has a nice ring to it" don't you think? We have to get you a collar and some dog tags with that on em in case you get lost,"

He was about to protest when his highly sensitive ears heard snap, he instantly got up making like he was going for a walk as casually as he could he stretched his long body saying he'd be back in a little while. Mey Rin, Finny, Bard, and Kagome sat in the kitchen having hot cocoa and cookies when they were treated to quite an unexpected sight always neat pristine Sebastian with pieces of what was formerly a Jack o lantern pumpkin all over him the face that had been carved into it sitting on Sebastian's head a thick white liquid substance and slimy stuff ran down coating his form

"Rough way to make a pie mate," Bard teased

"Growl, says he who cannot be left alone in my kitchen without trying to rush cooking food by with dynamite" sound familiar? Or had that as so many things often do slip your mind?

"Ooo" the others exclaimed

"Inuyasha," Mey Rin, and Kagome said in unison

"Yes" Sebastian answered

"How'd the little weasel rig it? Kagome asked

"Our dear boy really took his time and put a lot of thought into it, as usual I went to my room and bathed only this time I didn't turn the light on first before I entered, after bathing and dressing I turned my light on and was greeted with this lovely gift. I must say the rigging is rather in genius at that," Sebastian told them

"How so? Fin asked

"He rigged it so that when the light was turned on the string tripped the lever it was attached to beneath the filled with heavy cream and raw eggs Jack O Lantern sitting on my bed sent it sailing and well you see the results,"

"Ah, Sebastian, you're not going to let him get away with that are you?" Bard inquired

"I think not yes I do," Mey Rin said

"I am above revenge," he calmly replied and left

"This is bad very bad yes it is," Mey Rin exclaimed

"He's just to bloody calm he's scary," Bard commented with a shiver "I could swear I saw a smirk on his face as he was leaving,"

"Is this a private party or is anyone invited to join in? Ciel asked "What's going on? They told him "This may very well be the most fun Halloween I've ever had,"

"The best ever" Kagome asked

"She doesn't know our Sebastian after what was done he's being too damned calm," Ciel answered

"Sebastian is like a low flame," Bard said

"What do you mean? Kagome replied

"Slow burn," Fin added

"Oh shit," Kagome exclaimed "Like a bomb with a long slow burning fuse then boom,"

"It will sure as bloody hell be fun and entertaining to watch," sadistically smiling Mey Rin added

"Oh boy doggy dearest has finally met his match oh how long I've waited for and prayed for this," dreamy eyed devious looking Kagome said "Thank you god,"

"I'll protect you," Ciel teased "You know I have a very sneaky feeling tonight might be a lively night,"

"You might be the one needing protection I volunteer," Kagome replied he smiled

At lunch that day

As he did every day Sebastian served the food but this time with lid covered plates smiles along with surprised expressions on the faces of all seated could be seen. No one said a word but the delicious scent of mashed potatoes, roast beef, gravy, and green beans carried through the air. When Sebastian had finished everyone lifted the lids off of their plates nearly drooling with anticipation

"Hey where's mine? Is this some kind of unspoken jab at dogs knowing how much they love meat and hate being denied? Inuyasha indignantly bit seeing he only had a pie on his plate

"No a peace offering, it is all yours if you promise to not swipe anymore goodies before the Halloween party begins" do we have a deal? Sebastian said

"Hell yes" but what about? He started

"Dinner, your meal is covered being kept warn in the oven?" Sebastian answered

"Sweet thanks, oh boy pumpkin pie and she's all mine," he licked his lips "Come to papa baby,"

"She?" the females exclaimed

He swiftly began cutting with the knife digging in and eating it groaning in delight, it was made with a custard base made of cream, vanilla, eggs, sugar, a pinch of nutmeg mixed with the pumpkin. Smiles lit the faces of all there as they enjoyed the wonderful meal served with eggnog as a treat. After the deliriously happy hanyou finished his delicious pie swallowing the last bite down with some eggnog he wiped his mouth smiling like mad

"That is the best pie I've ever had I think I've died and gone to dog demon heaven,"

"Thank you," Sebastian replied' "The custard base was made from the cream and egg filled pumpkin you so nicely rigged in my room, and your eggnog from some of the cream,"

The smile quickly disappeared from the hanyous face replaced by a look of horror and a face whiter than snow "Wha-what? You're kidding right?

"Not in the least," evilly smiling Sebastian answered

"Ugh, pie, you in my pie, I've been poisoned," he stuck out his tongue poured salt on it and holding a cloth napkin from the sides started pulling it from side to side trying to scrub his tongue "Ick and probably cat hair to,"

"I bathed first," grinning madly Sebastian needled

"Disusting," his speech distorted from the napkin

"I believe the word you are attempting to say is disgusting," Sebastian needled

"Uck ou,"

"Now, now foul language at the dinner table is inappropriate," Sebastian teased, Inuyasha ran for the nearest bathroom to scrub his tongue with every cleaning product he could find "No pucking allowed,"

The room came alive with previously held back released bursts of laughter "Sebastian"

"Yes young lord?

"You are positively vile," laughing Ciel said

"Why thank your praise is immensely appreciated," sadistically smiling Sebastian replied and bowed

"That's our Sebastian," the others exclaimed

That night

After sneaking a quick snack Smiling gloating Inuyasha headed to the bathroom for a nice bath after he bathed he was all relaxed. He then left going toward his room when he neared his room he found a note in the door placed between the door and its frame. As he took then and opened it something hit his sensitive nose lilac and it was heaven

"Very nice," the grinning dog said

Note

_**My sexy dog come in I am ready and waiting let me treat you to a night of sin**_

_**Yours truly **_

_**Your Halloween girl**_

"Mey Rin you sexy little minx, Inu's about to get lucky very lucky," he opened his door stepped inside quietly closing it behind him someone was definitely in his bed he was giddy with anticipation, and so was his now saluting trouser snake "You little minx don't move a muscle," in a flash all that covered him was his underwear "Hope you're ready," he pounced, a gentle hand rubbed one ear he was in heaven "Now you're in for it,"

"Oh Yashy take me I'm yours do with me what you will,"

"Eeeeeee" what the fuck? The hanyou shrieked

"Oh don't be that way" don't you know how to treat a lady? We are delicate creatures you know"

"Yeah send me one and I'll show ya how it's done,' Inuyasha snapped

"So cruel,"

"And you are so dead Grell,"

"I'd bear your puppies if only you'd let me,"

"Out before I stop feeling generous and kill ya," Inuyasha bit "Five, four, three, two,"

"Okay, okay I'm going no need for violence," Grell swiftly made a beeline for the door "If you change your mind and they always do you know where to find me," Grell blew him a kiss. Bam it hit the door he narrowly escaped the shoe Inuyasha threw at him

"I love you to my sexy puppy,"

"Run before I introduce you to my ten in very bad need of sharpening little friends," Inuyasha flexed his claws 'Michaelis'

"You see I told you," Ciel said to his temporary roommates Bard and the others who he had invited to hide in his room with him to await the coming events

"Holy shit he thought it was a girl and it was Grell," laughing Kagome gasped "Sebastian is a diabolical evil genius," they stayed silent

"Bloody hell I cannot ca-catch my breath," gasping for air laughing Mey Rin said

"Think they'll invite us to the wedding? Fin joked

"Question is which one is going to be the bride?" Bard teased

"Sh, sh wait for it, wait for it," Kagome exclaimed

"Michaeliiiiiiis you bastard," Inuyasha cursed "You are gonna be wearing your ass as a garter belt,"

"And there you have it," Kagome said

"Never screw with a cat dear boy never screw with a cat," laying on his nice warm comfy bed Sabastian said to himself

"Gods Grell all over my sheets, the bed spread all the lye and bleach in the world won't remove it," the hanyou griped while stripping his bed "Sniff the mattress needs burning,"

"Next he'll be heading to the laundry room to was-wash poor Grell out of his bed clothes," Kagome panted keeping her laughing as low as possible

"Okay snacks everyone," Ciel invited

"We have the best boss in the whole world," Kagome teased "Oo for me? She exclaimed when he handed her a box of chocolates her favorite thing "How'd you know?

"I make it my business to know all my staff," Ciel answered

"Some more than others," Bard razzed "Ow," he cried out after Ciel smacked his head "Halloween Grinch,"

"Shut it you," Ciel bit

Just as Kagome predicted the scowling hanyou was heard heading downstairs to the laundry room leaving a string of curses behind him as he left "You know the worst part of it," Fin said

"The poor bloke had you know a buddy," Bard exclaimed

"A woody yep horny dog had a major woody," the smirking miko added

"Women you are positively wicked but I love you any way,"

"He can always go out back and cut the firewood I won't mind," wiseass Bard said

"Nasty but hilarious," Ciel added

Two days after

Two days had gone by and Inuyasha had yet to try anything but Kagome knew her hanyou well and as she told the others he was simply as she put it waiting for his demented brain to come up with something warped and form a plan. She was not wrong he definitely had something up his sleeve something vile, Ciel said that he should just put a sign up over the front door Phantomhive theatre and sell tickets to see the butler VS gardener war played live for all to see

"Never screw with the dog kitty never screw with the friggin dog," Inuyasha mumbled as he laid out his next trap "Oh yeah that'll work," he had the most demented smile "Here goes nothing,"

The conniving hanyou made his way to the kitchen once there he'd put on the most convincing though feigned look of indignation in history after all it had to look authentic, he nearly danced with joy as his evil mind ran the yet to be played out scenario through his head. Nearing the kitchen he put on his game face barely able to keep a straight face he entered

"Good morning," Kagome greeted

"Ah, what's good about it?" Inuyasha played it convincingly

'Cranky, must have been a rough night" eh?

"What the hell are you talking about? He replied

"Indoor pool," She answered "Eight ball in the tight corner pocket,"

"Shagging," Bard added "Herding the sheep,"

"Grooming the bush," winking a couple times Fin needled

"What are you idiots going on about anyway? Shagging? Inuyasha paused for a moment "Hey what the hell?

"Bahhhhh," Bard sounded like a real sheep

"Michaelis,"

"Taisho," entering the room Sebastian responded

Inuyasha saw his chance and like the dog he was took it, in the blink of an eye he had one of Sebastian's homemade pies and ran like hell, blueberry his favorite. Sebastian saw red and that started the chase of the century and their entertainment. It did not take Sebastian long to catch up to the devious hanyou he threw a lasso trying to catch and haul his target in. Finally the third try he caught his prey and as he did the pie went flying Sebastian gracefully caught it. Inuyasha struggled Sebastian told him there was no need to try for there was no escape but he continued anyway. Sebastian gave the rope one good hard yank sending Inuyasha flying forward with glazed over eyes facing Sebastian, in the blink of an eye Sebastian was covered in pea soup vomit

"After I am clean again you die," Sebastian calmly bit and disappeared

"Gross Inuyasha gross," Kagome said "You could have at least warned the poor guy that it was coming,"

"Hehehehe," he laughed "H-he'll live,"

"Eew, you barf all over the poor guy then laugh" have you no shame? Seriously" Kagome scolded

"Aw worried about your boyfriend? He wisecracked

"Gross and it reeks" what the hell did you eat five day old left out rotting in the sun road kill?

"N-no some-somethin better," he gasped between laughs

"Forget it I do not want to know,"

"Oh no you don't you asked and now I'm telling," he replied grabbing her wrist pulling her to him

"No gross that is disgusting now let go,"

"No, no my little wench come here give us a kiss," he teased with puckered lips

It was then that she noticed for someone who had just vomited his breath did not stink and was actually minty and his clothes were immaculate "You faked it, didn't you?" she said

"Duh, you finally figured it out congrats you have just graduated from the Sherlock Holmes academy," he teased

"But it reeks what the hell did you mix with the pea soup to give it that unholy stench?" Kagome questioned

"O De Le Moo,"

"Oh dear gods, you didn't,"

"Lovely lightly lumpy sour milk mixed with pea soup, nice," Bard commented "Clever bastard,"

"The old balloon full of sour milk pea soup clutched to your chest then hands held up near mouth add a couple of coughs and cleverly squeezed when near the victim looks like you're really puking," Fin added

"With a few gaging sounds added looks bloody real," Inuyasha said

"Disgusting," Kagome exclaimed her hand clamped over her nose

"Boys and their vile toys," with a cloth covering her nose Mey Rin exclaimed

"Are the wenches all grossed out? Inuyasha teased and made barfing sounds sending the females fleeing "Fleeing wenches benefit boys,"

"What might that be," the other males asked

"We get the pie," Inuyasha said with a smirk

"Forks, plates, cups and tea," gents Bard said as he passed out the plates and forks

"I've got the tea," Fin chimed in serving them

"And now pie," grinning Inuyasha added

"A piece of that ill lgotten gain is mine boys," Ciel's voice rang in

"Welcome to the boys club boss man," Inuyasha teased

"Pea soup and O De Le Moo good one," Ciel commented "You may have your little war but do not kill one another I do not want to look for a new or break in a new butler and a gardener,"

With Mey Rin, and Kagome

"Oh I know our Sebastian is already plotting," Mey Rin told Kagome

"I can hardly wait hehehe,"

"What the hell it is Halloween month," Mey Rin added

"Yup and the boys are already tricking and treating, each other bless their little hearts,"

A couple of days later

About two days had passed and the cat and dog war seemed to be put on hold for the time being neither made a move against each other Inuyasha was pre occupied with something Sebastian cared not so long as he was left alone. Sebastian was a high class refined demon all knew he rarely lost control, what they did not know is he had a deranged warped humor side hidden well behind an angelic face and by his classy ways. One night he was up late so he decided to go have a cup of tea and headed to the kitchen, when he arrived he caught a scent one he'd not smelt since his early days in Japan and ah how fondly he remembered it. Following his nose he found it hidden in a hole in the wall behind the sink, he reached in and pulled it out

"Ah youkai delight how I've missed you, sniff, the perfect blend of demon catnip, demon dogweed, and sake the dog did an excellent job of making you, sniff triple strength as well," he said as he lovingly stroked the bottle

Sebastian rarely drank especially this particular liquor but he was a loyal butler man and friend who was long overdue for some indulgence. He poured himself a cup slowly sipping it and savoring every drop with great appreciation and not long after a wonderful warm feeling hit him and a big bright smile lit his face. Scratching at the back door caught his attention he turned to look and saw it was Pluto he grinned and did something he rarely did pet the hell hounds head

"Ah you caught the scent" did you? Okay I'll share," Sebastian gave him some the dog whimpered in pure bliss he was like a kitten "Thi-this is what every cat and dog needs," yes Sebastian was eight sheets to the wind and proud of it "Love drops," he said looking lovingly at the bottle "Time for thirds, and maybe fifths later on,"

Picking up the telephone he dialed a number "Hello" the voice spoke

"Meow"

"Sebastian,"

"Is there any other?

"Fortunately for the world there is not," the other person replied

"Same old cranky buzzard,"

"Drunken sot cat," the other wisecracked

"Shhh it's a secret,"

"Am I safe in assuming you found little brothers stash?"

"Naughty dog keep it down," Sebastian teasingly warned

"You do realize of course he makes that shit triple strength, right?"

"Why Sesshy you big bad fur ball is that concern I hear in your voice?"

"My concern is for the population at large," Sesshoumaru replied "And what prey tell has my deranged brother done to you?

"Oh a little of this and a little of that,"

"Out with it cat, it's that bad, hah?" Sesshoumaru replied "Dear god does he not know who he is dealing with?

"Nope, I have a real tweet I mean treat for him,"

"Do tell," Sebastian told him his idea "Positively vile, so vile I love it, a masterpiece in the making,"

"Thanks I thought so to," he told Sesshoumaru what Inuyasha had done

"Disgusting,"

"I was so riled at first that I did not notice it was simply pea soup mixed with sour milk," Sebastian told him

"Youngest pup strikes again,"

Hearing that voice "Inu-Inupapa? Sebastian said

"Yes Sugimi guilty as charged in all his un faded glory," he teased "Had some of my dear puppies secret stash hah?"

"Just a wittle bit," Sebastian replied

"You are a stoned kitty," Sugimi teased

"This is some good shit me happy kitty,"

"Bastian?

"Yes Inupapa? He always did like Sugimi's nickname for him

"Go take a cat nap you need to be ready for bad puppies discipline aka your version of dog training school," Sugimi teased

"Oh boy Inupapa approves?"

"Yes my only regret is that I cannot be there to witness it,"

"I can fix that," Sebastian said

"Unless cats can fly I think not," he joked

"We can fly you know that, but seriously the Kuro crystal it works like Kanna's mirror, and two way if you want you see them they see you,"

"You have that" when and how did you get hold of that? They are rare," Sugimi replied

"Kanna, I did her a favor and it was her thank you gift to me,'

"I'm in," both Sesshoumaru, and Sugimi said at the same time

"Cats are sneaky bastards, to bad little brother has not yet learned this," Sesshoumaru added

"Okay boys now that's all set I've got to go set it up," Sebastian told them

"Okay, be a good kitty don't make Inupapa have to come and spank you," Sugimi teased, Sebastian meowed they said their goodbyes and hung up

Sebastian never did sleep all through the night he was to giddy so he just had a few catnaps, he had the Kuro crystal all set up all he had to do now was wait the timing would be perfect, his keen hearing picked up the sounds of life the others were waking up. The clever cat had the tea in the pot steeping it'd be waiting for them when they came to the kitchen, not only that he was ready for his victim who would soon be coming out for his morning before breakfast walk. He quickly went to his hiding place and took position, Inuyasha came out hearing sounds he came to a stop below the huge tree his ears searching for the source

"Yes, oh yes right there don't stop harder,"

The rattled hanyou started to look up at the same time "You've got to be shitting me in the tre," he started and fell silent when a warm slimy liquid came down on his head quickly running down his form Sebastian's arm was moving rapidly back and forth

"Oh Mey Rin," second squirt hit the poor unfortunate hanyou before he had chance to move and at the same time "Harder, ride me, ride me," he panted "Yeeeees" and the third followed the second

'You, you fucking snake milking son of a bitch, in the tree jacking off in the gods damned tree? Keep your seeds to yourself" Inuyasha cursed "What did doing it in the privacy of your room, the woods etc go out of style?"

"And you'd never have known if you weren't spying and invading my privacy," Sebastian innocently replied

"Disgusting, if I wasn't so grossed out and in desperate need of emergency bathing I'd climb this fucking tree and kick your ass," the shacking his fist in ire hanyou bellowed

"I have about four more rounds left in me if you care to stick around,"

"Sleep with one eye open and a gun at your side bastard," Inuyasha snapped as he stomped

"That was fun," the crystal that was on the other branch opposite him showed Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru leaning on one another for support to keep from falling over due to laughing so hard

"Spec-spec-spectacular dear lord I'm dying," Laughing Sugimi managed to get out gasping for air

"Tree little brother me-meat beating cat," Sesshoumaru gasped

"Why thank you gentlemen I am honored that you enjoyed my performance," Sebastian said bowing his head

"Th-thank you," the two Inu's panted

Sebastian jumped down from the tree innocently strolling across the yard to the back door entering the kitchen "Lord help me, you, tree squirting," leaning over Fin gasped

"Poor thing's scarred for life I fear that he is yes I do," laughing Mey Rin managed to say

"Big Bas-Basssy in tree playing milk the snake," Kagome got out "Oh gods it's too much," she and Mey Rin who were leaning against each other gave in allowing themselves to slide down the wall to the floor

"Jacking off, bloody hell raw egg white looked like," poor Bard couldn't finish he was laughing too hard

"Bard?

"Ye-yes Kagome?

"Egg whites looked like cum aka l-love juice,"

"Holy hell love rain from a tree," Mey Rin chimed in Bard let gravity win falling off his chair onto the floor "Forgot his umbrella,"

"Why thank you I do quite enjoy knowing my staff and the young master are pleased with my performance,"

"Bassy? Kagome sweetly called

"Yes"

"We love you," Kagome, and Mey Rin said

Sometime later

"Where do you suppose he is? Ciel asked

"Well he is a clean fanatic about his body so he is probably making very good friends with every disinfectant and cleaning product you have," Kagome answered

"After all the poor thing really thought and believed it was real love juice," Ciel said making them all start laughing all over again

With Inuyasha

"Son of a dirty bitch bastard fucking bag full of crap cat," Inuyasha cursed as he sat in the tub scrubbing himself with bleach he was mountain fresh now, he also scrubbed and washed his clothes a few times

Back with the others

"You know when he calms down enough and reason returns he'll know that was raw egg whites and will most definitely be gunning for revenge," Kagome stated "I know him he is one totally warped relentless deranged dog,"

"Yes but you see I have a secret he does not know I know his father and brother," Sebastian told them

"You know Inupapa?

"I see you do as well," he replied

"Yep, isn't he a sweetheart?" Kagome praised

"Yes, he and Sesshoumaru were thrilled with my plans when I called them last night,"

"Oh boy and Inupapa is one of the biggest jokers alive,"

The following day

Ring, ring "Hello" Sebastian answered the phone "Just a moment please, It seems you have a call countess,"

"Up yours tree humper," Inuyasha took the phone "Hello"

"Oh Mey Rin ride me," Sugimi razzed

"I have about four more rounds left in me if you care to stick around," Sesshoumaru imitated Sebastian perfectly

"Ride me, ride me," Sugimi needled

"I can't believe this you told them, you fucking told my Father and brother," the furious hanyou snapped

"Nope better than that," Sebastian answered

"And what would that be? You tree dwelling lizard stroking freak"

"Kuro crystal," Sebastian smiled wickedly Inuyasha was numb with shock and couldn't believe his ears. He knew about that crystal and what it did

"You mean they saw it, saw the whole humiliating thing,"

"Yes they did," Sebastian replied "The same crystal was attached to the opposite branch giving them a very pleasurable and highly enjoyable view of the whole thing,"

"Oh yeees," Sesshoumaru teased

"Ahhh that was wonderful," Sugimi added to torture his son

"Shut uuuuup," Inuyasha snapped at them "Sadistic merciless bastards,"

"Oh Mey Rin you're the best I've ever had," were Sesshoumaru, and Sugimi's last jabs

**Doggie instincts, kitty has claws**

"What is it? Finn asked when he saw Inuyasha staring intensely out the window one leg slightly twitching

"Feeling alright?" Bard asked

"It's nothin just lookin is all," Inuyasha answered

"For a bone perhaps?"

"Kagome stop treating me like a dog," Inuyasha replied

"Technically you are half dog,"

"Growl, wench,"

They all watched as the hanyous left eye and one leg twitched and tension tightened his form, he accidently let a barely audible whine escape him "Ah hah case in point all dog," Kogome teased, he caught himself just when he started to pant "Bow wow,"

"Can it wench I just need to go for a walk I'll be fine," he made a beeline for the backdoor

"Bow wow Rover," he growled and took off

"You know I think if he did have a tail he'd be wagging it," Mey Rin joked

"Question is what the hell caught his attention?" Kagome added

"A girl dog, maybe?" Fin said

"Maybe it's mating season and the poor bloke is looking for a mate," Bard teased

Out back

"Look he is down on all fours he's actually going to do it," Mey Rin said

"He is just like a dog," Bard commented "He' is more like a dog than our Pluto," Inuyasha started chasing something but because of the tall grass they could not see what

"Bloody hell he's going to kill him yes he is," Mey Rin exclaimed

"Where the hell did he come from? Finny questioned

With Ciel and the others

"Lovely another fun day in the lunatic asylum formerly known as my home," Ciel who had one hand on his head as if in pain commented

"Whoa kitty has claws," Finny exclaimed

"Look Pluto is doggy grinning," grinning himself Bardroy added

"He is a beauty," Mey Rin complimented

"Hey where's Sabastian? He's gonna have a fit" Finny said

"Probably waiting in the shadows to see who causes damage that'll be the one dying," Bard told them

"Oh he's a beauty that he is," Mey Rin commented while they watched the large cat chasing the gardener swatting its paw with extended claws at the fleeing males backside "Well it was nice knowing that chap while it lasted,"

"What are you lot going on about? Ciel asked, they told him to look he did

Back with Inuyasha

"Hey fur ball that one almost got me" the gardener complained the cat meowed

"Hisssss," was the cats response

"Well whoever dies will be buried out back," smirking Ciel told them

"Young lord," his staff replied

"You heard me," the grinning young lord answered "Out back," he grinned deviously then asked "What pray tell started this?"

"The gardener saw a cat and much like a dog down on all fours started chasing the poor thing," Fin told him

"Yes he did, that one right there the orange striped one with the bushy tail sitting in the corner over there," pointing Mey Rin said "Aw look the poor thing is panting, I am going to bring her a nice dish of cold milk yes I am,"

"Yeooooow, let go" do I look like a fish to you? Inuyasha howled when the male cat clamped onto his butt cheek with his fangs and growled "You flea bag ow I outta kill you," the hanyou snapped "Nooooo, ow, ow," he shrieked when the claws of all four paws sunk into his tender flesh "Oh agony stop I won't kill ya I'll be good,"

"Ouch, never threaten the kitty," laughing Bard said

"Woo hoo feline power you go kitty," Fin cheered

"Come on pretty please? With a big fat juicy fish and catnip on top I'll get you the best catnip top grade nothing but the best for you my buddy my pal and lifelong friend," Inuyasha tried bribing

"Trying to bribe the kitty this is a new one," Mey Rin spoke "He is hilarious yes he is,"

Sometime later

The cat VS dog war had ended and the wounded hanyou sat on a pillow trying to relieve the piercing pain in his tender derriere "What is this? Sebastian asked as he entered the kitchen

"He played chas," Kagome started

"Shut it wench. I fell on a thorn bush," he lied "One with long extra, large very pointy thorns,"

"Meow" Mey Rin teased

"Cough bull cough shit," the males exclaimed

"Yeah a bush with four paws long deadly claws and that goes meow," Kagome jabbed

"Damn you Ka-go-me,"

"Damn you, you bad, bad d-o-g-g-y," she spelled to annoy him

"Bite me wench,"

"Why Yashycakes,, is that an invitation?" Kagome teased "Oh boy I think I'm in love I don't have fangs like you but I'll do my best," she continued with her hands clamped together against one cheek and a dreamy look "Oh don't turn me on you freak you,"

"I see a big strong boy like you chasing a poor defenseless little cat," Sebastian chastised "Naughty cat chasing dog, perhaps a night or two in the doghouse would do wonders for you,"

"What cat? Inuyasha tried playing dumb

"Yes that cute orange kitty over there" isn't she a beauty? Mey Rin gushed "I just had to give the poor little thing a cool drink after her harrowing experience," then shot Inuyasha a scornful look he gulped

"Well her boyfriend wasn't so little," Inuyasha griped "Bastard used my ass like a claw sharpening post,"

"Well boy cats like to be groomed and pretty to you know," grinning Mey Rin jabbed

"A big strong dog like you nonsense he was just defending his mate," Kagome razzed, she heard purring and turned to look "You did invade his territory,"

"Bull freaking shit he's a member of the cat Yakuza," the hanyou griped "Hell he's probably the damned boss who hands out assignments and puts hits out on people,"

"Especially on nuisance cat chasing dogs, hah? Sebastian needled

"Get bent rat boy,"

"I am afraid you must show me how as I have no experience in such things? Sebastian replied

"Wench invaded his territory you say, hah? I'll show you who's territory it is," Inuyasha griped then took off

"What the bloody hell, are you kidding me?" wide eyed Bardroy exclaimed

"What is it? Ciel asked

"Take a look you will never believe it unless you see it for yourself,"

"Holy shit he's-he's actually marking his territory," laughing Kagome said as they watched the indignant hanyou marking the trees surrounding the property like a mortal dog

"Yes but he's forgotten one thing," grinning Sebastian said

"Pluto," the others exclaimed in unison

"Yes Pluto is the resident dog here the only dog before the hanyous arrival," Sebastian answered "King dog of this estate you might say,"

"Owwwww," he shrieked as fire breathing Pluto chased him "You canine traitor," trying to close his pants while running Inuyasha snapped "Your excommunicated from the dogs union,"

"Sweet cat whipped and dog trounced all in one day and both events within minutes of one another," Kagome said

"You know what they say it takes one dog to discipline another," laughing Bard spoke

Turning her attention back to the cat "Oh, can I hold her? Kagome asked holding the feline Mey Rin

"You sure can," Mey Rin handed her to Kagome

"Aw kitty kisses," Kagome cooed as the cat licked her cheek "You're my baby yes you are," the cat purred madly "I am going to spoil you rotten,"

"You like cats? Sebastian asked, panting Inuyasha came back landing on his butt on the floor

"More like love them," Kagome replied scratching behind the cat's ear making her purr louder. Noticing Inuyasha's grimace he grinned

'We are going to be the best of friends' Sebastian thought

"Cat yakuza wench remember cat yakuza," Inuyasha said

"Meow, don't worry I still wuv doggies too just ask Pluto" want me to rub your little tummy? Oh I love how you lay on your back have all fours curled up and whimper while I do"

"Did he really? The males asked in unison

"I'd love to see that I bet he's absolutely adorable," Mey Rin added

"Hey I did not whimper wench. I mean I never did any of those things, quit lying," Inuyasha protested

"Come on you heard Mey Rin I'll be gentle can't deny a kind gentle female a simple request," Kagome teased inching toward the frazzled hanyou

"Nothin doing wenches, ah um I've got to use the little doggie's room see ya,"

"Sit" Bam

"Kagomeeeee," the raging hanyou bellowed "Damn these fucking things," he cursed while rolling the beads of his necklace between his fingers

"Good boy," wasting no time before the subjugation spell wore off Kagome had him turned onto his back and began rubbing his belly "Mey Rin scratch behind his puppy ears he loves that too,"

"They are as soft as silk yes they are,"

"Wen-wenches st-stop," the hanyou tried protesting. Against his will one foot began tapping the floor, small whimpers escaped his mouth

"Can I have a piece of that? Bard teased

"He's like a puppy," Finny commented

"Interesting," Ciel added

"Can I give the puppy, a belly rub? Sebastian said making Inuyasha nearly come undone and cringing

"Is that purring? Finn asked when he heard purring like sound emitted from the hanyou "May I help out ladies?"

"N-no-no way whine wenches o-only," Inuyasha managed to say between whimpers "Hah? What? You to? He said looking up after feeling something. Yep the girl cat perched on his chest joined the fun all four paws kneading his skin like bread dough. After a long time they let him be, Mey Rin went to pick up the happily perched purring curled up on his chest cat "Growl, mine,"

"Possessive dog," Kagome teased

"What? Just cause I chase em doesn't mean I hate them, besides canine VS feline it's an age old competition nothing new," the wiseass hanyou said

"Do I hear wedding bells? Ciel was being a ball buster and loving it

"Eew. don't be sick princess is a regular cat ya deranged freak," Inuyasha shot back "Besides I like wench pie not cat pie," winking at the females, they called him a pervert he thanked them and winked more

"Princess? The others exclaimed

"Yup, she is royalty" got a problem with that?

"Why whatever do you mean? Sebastian teased and snatched the cat immediately showering her with affection "So beautiful, perfect paws, so perfect it could almost be a sin,"

"Aw look he's in love, the perv," Inuyasha wisecracked

"Sleep with a gun at your side and one eye open dog," Sebastian shot back

"Sebastian?

"Yes lord?

"You may keep her if you wish," Ciel said "You never ask for anything consider her your reward," Sebastian grinned "If I could not do this for my loyal butler what kind of lord would I be? After all I am one hell of a lord,"

"We wish, we wish," Inuyasha chimed in

The others smiled hearing Ciel using Sebastian's borrowed and altered saying "Thank you sir Michaelis," Sebastian teased

"You're welcome lord Phantomhive," grinning Ciel replied

**Boobs, bushes and naughty bits, not in my kitchen, unexpected guest**

Inuyasha had an obsession well hidden though it was it drove him batty. The war of the world was about to commence and this is what lead to it the world's most epic war. Inuyasha was a perfect gardener even Sebastian praised his work, he and Sebastian shared one thing perfection all they did had to be or neither was happy unless it was. Fin, and Bard stood talking to Inuyasha while he cut the bushes, so busy talking as they were before they knew it the bushes were near done, Bard looked and then

"Ahhhhhhh," he shrieked, Inuyasha covered his sensitive ears

"What's with you ya got scorpions in your shorts? Are they biting your special parts? Wiseass Inuyasha needled "Hm, Pluto breaths fire and I am sure he'd be more than happy to help,"

"Holy cow," Fin exclaimed when he turned his head and looked

With his hand on his head "It it's unbelievable," Bard commented

"Dear god there'll be hell to pay," Fin added

"You to? Inuyasha replied "What is this attack of the lunatic's day? The hanyou wisecracked

"No idiot," Fin replied

"Hey, what the hell, man?" Inuyasha griped after Fin smacked his head "What's your problem? "Don't screw with me I'm one inch away from killing you,"

"Look at your work," Bard told him

"What are you the bush police? You two loons should try wench bushes their way better then plant bushes," Inuyasha replied

"Bloody hell, will you just look already? Bard shot back "Or do you need incentive? A stick of dynamite will do the job,"

Inuyasha finally conceded and looked "Nooooooo, crap this is so bad, I'm gonna die,"

"Nicely done though," smirking Bard added "Nice rack and backside, that's our Mey Rin to a T,"

"Real funny you creeps my life is on the line and you morons are ragging me," the hanyou griped "Sebastian will kill me but Mey Rin will do way worse,"

"Yep you poor bloke hate to say it but you may have to leave England," Bard said trying to look serious to hide his humor about the whole thing

What they had seen were the bushes all cut to look like and in the shape of Mey Rin's full luscious boobs and the others her shapely rounds ass, Inuyasha stood there "Sabastian's going to kill me cut me up and make minced meat pie out of me," gripping fistfuls of his hair in such a way it looked as though he was going to rip it out

Unable to resist Bard just had to do it "Want me to go and get Sebastian so he can see these wonderful masterpieces?

'Do and you'll be dead faster than you were born. Thanks a lot for nothing," Inuyasha bit

"You know Finny this reminds me of the time Grell cut them to look like skulls" remember that? Bard asked

"Can I ever forget?

"Did you ride his ass and rag on him like you're doing me?" the indignant hanyou griped

"Hell yes," both replied

"Wouldn't we be dumb to pass that up? Bard wisecracked

"Bard I just realized something,"

"Do tell Fin,"

"Their cut in the shape of Mey Rin's bottom and bosom,"

"Yes, what of it?"

"He has a crush on Mey Rin," Fin teased

"I do not," Inuyasha denied

"Bloody hell your right, like me thinks he's in love. Oh I am telling every," Bard didn't get to finish

"Shut your friggin trap," clamping his hand over Bards mouth Inuyasha snapped

"Yashiys in love, Yashys in love kissy, kissy, kissy," the other hand quickly went over Fins mouth silencing him

"Listen you two maggots breathe one word of it and I'll kill ya dead. Trust me I can make the bodies disappear never to be found not even by god himself, half demon" remember? It's one of our specialties" the sadistically smiling hanyou told them

"Gulp,"

"Knew you two would see things my way," he released them

"Okay no need to go all mafia about it," grinning Bard said

"Now what the hell am I going to do about these freaking bushes? I'm gonna be first priority on Sebastian's must kill hit list" Inuyasha fearfully exclaimed

"Did I hear someone call my name? What list is it that you speak o? He didn't finish when his eyes fell on the bushes and almost inhumanly widened "Derrieres bosoms" care to explain?

Inuyasha gulped hard "I well I, I um cut them," the trying to smile nervous hanyou nearly stammered

"I can see that," came Sebastian's cool reply

'I-I crap, I didn't mean t," Inuyasha was cut off

Fin stepped in front of him "Please don't kill him Sebastian he has a crush,"

"Ohhhhh," Inuyasha moaned one hand over his reddening face

"Blokes in love," Bard added

"That explains why my bushes are so intricately resemble Mey Rin," Sebastian replied

"Alright I'm ready to die now just make it quick,"

"Simply cut them to look like roses and no one will know, I will keep master Ciel occupied," Sebastian told him

Late that night

Kagome had an itch to scratch and knew Inuyasha had a stash. She did not have long to wait as she remained hidden in the dark kitchen waiting for sweet fang aka Inuyasha to sneak in under the cover of darkness like a vampire to make a late night withdrawal. The nearly drooling hanyou with the stealth of an assassin and the samurai he was snuck in hand outstretched to snag some goodies. Goodies in hand he was ready to snack a bright light hit his eyes both startling and snapping him out of his little I've got my goodies world

"Ahhhhh," he shrieked from being startled quickly clamping a hand over his mouth hoping the others didn't hear it at the same time his goodies went flying "Gods damn it wench," he gracefully caught his falling pilfered snacks

"Thief" the miko teased

"Are you gonna bust my nuts over some damned goodies? What are ya the snack police?

"No but I know you have a stash and I want some," she replied smiling evilly

"Stash what stash? I don't know anything about a stash I don't hide goodies in my room,"

"Not the goodies you two legged weasel, the stash I know you brought some with you from Japan, and have been making it here," grinning evilly at him

"Oh that, shhh keep it down, will ya?" He answered "But I can't believe you want youkai delight you're human,"

"What you got something against humans? She teased

"No I am half duh. What I mean is that shit is made of sake demon catnip and demon dogweed this shit will get you really fucked up. Aren't you the dare devil,"

"I live for danger now cough it up my doggie dearest,"

"Fine I'll spring but you gotta pay me," he said

"You mean? You pervert"

"You know what daddy likes now get to work,"

"Oh okay," she replied "it shouldn't take long anyway,"

"Hey I ain't cheap and fast," he shot back "Oh, oh yeah that's the spot, yeah right there don't stop. Yes oh baby daddies happy now a little to the left, oh yeah that's my sweet spot I think I see the gates of heaven,"

'In my kitchen' fuming Sebastian who had come for a glass of milk thought when he heard them, near the entrance "Alright you two I care not what you do but not in my kitchen," he snapped

"Don't stop oh now daddies feeling it," Inuyasha said, however when Sebastian saw it he stopped dead in his tracks

"Unbelievable," he exclaimed

"Purr tap, tap," he smiled as he watched purring Inuyasha one foot tapping the floor while Kagome scratched behind the hanyous ears "Crap purr he had to catch this,"

"Worry not your secret is safe with me," Sebastian said smiling widely

"Yeah but you'll want bribery, right?"

"Let's say I've already been paid and call it even," Sebastian replied

"I smell a rat, I mean a carat," Inuyasha said

"Carat, what the hell is a carat? Curious Kagome asked

"Cat rat take the t off of cat then add the ca to rat and you have him a carat Sounds like Karat" get it? the smirking hanyou answered

"Only you could create a new species without any actual mating,"

"I will take my leave now goodnight all," about to leave Sebastian said

"Hold it carat got something for ya," Inuyasha said then with warp speed went for his stash of youkai delight, bottle in hand "What the hell? He said noticing his stash was half gone "Carat you my stash?

"I know nothing of a stash, I am weary and I am going to bed now farewell,"

"Hold it right there rat boy this is a no brainer you + my stash = you in the tree doing that disgusting thing with what I didn't know at the time were friggin egg whites" you were stoned on this shit that day weren't you?

"I need not be drunk to deal with unruly puppies," Sebastian casually shot back

"Why you, I-I ought to, no never mind ought to I am going to kill you," Inuyasha leapt up and lunged at his prey. After giving him the finger Sebastian took off. Forgetting the bottle was in his hand Inuyasha let it go flying through the air, Kagome easily caught it

"Boys and their games oh well more for me," the happy miko poured herself a serving and took a sip "Ah, how I've missed you,"

"Enough for one more," a nice male voice said

"Ciel, oh trust me you don't want any of this, it's how can I say this? Not for humans it's a demon drink Youkai Delight," she explained

He sat down "Liker this? The smirking lord asked allowing his eyes to turn from vibrant blue to ruby red

"You you're a demon but how? Being a miko I usually always know"

He told her all about Aloise Trancy and the events leading up to his death "And that is how I am what you see now, I have learned to hide it well, Sebastian is an excellent teacher and friend, he has many talents ancient magic's being one of them,"

"Now I understand, I knew right away Sebastian is a cat demon, but you got me good," she smiled after saying that

"And do you understand this? He asked a mischievous look on his face

"Understan? She started a muffled "Hmm" came out when his lips suddenly covered hers. The two remained busy while outside the cat VS dog war raged on, Pluto was deliriously happy chasing after them

'I've got you good this time' he thought

Later on

The cat VS butler war ended, Inuyasha headed for the kitchen hoping some of his special sake was left, Kagome was gone so was the bottle, he went straight to its hiding place breathing a sigh of relief when he found it there, he smelled Ciel on the bottle. "Hm boss mans a demon and probably stoned by now. Just enough for me,"

An hour later after drinking his youkai delight and happily stoned out of his mind Inuyasha headed for his room nearly unable to walk straight he used his hands against the walls as he walked to balance himself. Breathing a sigh of relief when he found his door he opened it and quietly slipped inside gently and carefully closing it behind him so as not to wake the others, he made it to his bed stripping down to his underwear pulled back the bed covers and climbed in quickly drifting off to sleep

A couple of hours later he woke up finding something lying next to him and his right hand perched on something round and soft nervous he gulped. Thinking it was another Gell, Sebastian trick he sniffed it wasn't that, but what the hell was it? His demonic night vision finally cleared from the sake induced haze, he looked around and realized it was not his room he looked to his right and gulped, his thought how to slip out and escape without waking her. He loved the feel of her round full bosom beneath his hand it was as if they were made for his hands, he began to lift his hand up working his body toward the edge of the bed intent on slipping away before she woke up and killed him. Suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist pulling it back down onto the pleasure mound

"Going somewhere?

"Gulp, oh crap. Mey Rin I can explain,"

"So grope and run hah? Bad boy,"

"A, are you go-going to kill me? He stammered "I'm sorry, I was drunk on sake and wondered into the wrong room," his dream girl, how could he have screwed up this bad? It was not supposed to be this way

"No but you will have to make it up to me," she answered

"Anything you want name it,"

**Lime starts**

"She reached over no clothes, hm," she said just above a whisper

"Oh I am so dead," he mumbled "Hah? He gasped in surprise when a warm soft hand wrapped around bare Inuyasha junior registered in his heated brain "Mey Rin?

"This will do, you can deposit that nice fat roll of money in my bank you'll earn lots of interest,"

It immediately stood at attention "Do you have any idea how long I've wished for and wanted this?

"The bushes cut like my parts was a big clue," the smirking sweet natured female replied

"You saw that? He was blushing in the dark and grateful she could not see it

"Yes I did, nice art work by the way, it is like getting an I love you card,"

Daring it he reached over slipping his hand under the covers groaning when he found her naked "Sleeping in the raw my sexy minx?"

"Every night,"

Before he could blink his underwear were sliced off "You keep a knife under your pillow?

"Always you never know,"

"Do you realize how much that is turning me on right now?

"Show me big boy,"

"You asked for it my little wench,"

"Wench I like that," she kissed him with such heated passion and such force it nearly knocked the breath out of him. She pulled him on top of her and between her legs swiftly wrapping them around his thick waist pulling him forward

"Mmmmm" came his muffled groan taking the hint he took action

**Lime continues**

**Goody napping, cheating dogs never prosper, cookie heaven**

"Before you can tame the kitty first you must take it slow no rushing it," no one knew what exactly had started it between them but Inuyasha's current mission seemed was driving Ciel nuts "A little sip gentle nibble it drives em nuts but it's actually fun to. always make sure to hold the two love folds back and the chewy middle is easy pickings because most of all you don't want a mouth full of hair once it gets stuck in your teeth it's a bitch getting them out,"

"I already know all of that you bloody idiot now for the love of all that is holy" will you shut up? Ciel snapped

"Shut it I haven't even told you how to use your tongue yet," Inuyasha was enjoying this far too much "You greenhorn newbies need all the help you can get so it's up to us vets to show how it is done,"

"You are demented and desperately in need of killing," Ciel bit "I am more than happy to help you with that," smirking

"Shut up cherry I'm offering you good advice here," Inuyasha replied "Here take the pictures I drew them myself, and he was very good at it "So like I was saying you keep the girl in front of you bend her over hike that skirt and like Rover you bury that bone, ah you haven't lived until you put that log in the fire doggy style,"

"I am seriously going to kill you," Ciel threatened

"Well I mean if you're a freak, some people love to do it in places where there is a risk of getting caught, say you look like one of those guys who would enjoy that a lot," the twisted hanyou winked

"I never," Ciel replied "Such vile thing," he was interrupted

"Never what? My young lord" Sebastian teased "Do tell inquiring minds want to know there are no virgins among us. Oops forgot there is one," Sebastian needled grinning wickedly while looking at Ciel who did an impressive canine like growl

"Dear lord he is like a walking graphic sex instruction book," Shocked Mey Rin said after hearing Inuyasha, then after hearing Sebastian "Did you hear that? That was our Sebastian, yes it was,"

"Who knew he had a dark naughty and secret side," Fin, and Bard said

"That's it I am going to kill you," Ciel snapped

Ciel grimaced when gloating Sebastian whispered in his ear "Demon, remember? Humans cannot kill us?"

The young lord smirked "Fine then I'll find and spay someone who can,"

"Ah, ah, ah young lord no cheating I cannot bring in outside help neither can you,"

"Damn you," Ciel grouched

"Positively wicked why Bassy I think I love you more," Grell teased Sebastian cringed

"Revolting," Sebastian responded "You desperately need a girlfriend," cringing Grell grimaced Sebastian smiled evilly

"Ciel smiled wickedly oh he was going to enjoy this immensely "Whens the wedding Bassy darling? Let's have it here we are all family, I will take care of everything, and Bassykins best of all I'll have a reaper in law, oh I always wanted one,"

"Hah? Grell responded

Sebastians left eye twitched and his eyes reddened slightly the others did not see because his back was turned to them while he faced Ciell who wore a triumphant grin wicked intent and deviousness dancing in his eyes, "Very well young lord have it as you will it may be wiser and safer if you slept with one eye open remember one eye open,"

"Did you hear that he said it twice yes he did," Mey Rin exclaimed

"Oo Sebastian means business," Bard said

"Uh oh," Fin exclaimed

"Woof" Knowing Sebastian's dislike for dogs Ciel barked and could not resist "Bad kitty calm yourself or I will be forced to whack your cute little nose with a newspaper,"

"Whacking noses is for dogs, maybe a giant kitty needs a scratching post one shaped like a tiny short boy while the others are asleep," the butler smiled sadistically

"I am not smalllll," Ciel yelled

"I take my leave I must prepare our little lords supper," grinning victoriously Sebastian

"Sebastiiiiian," Ciel bellowed the elongated version of his name out of shear frustration. Clearly the winner of this round Sebastian hummed as he walked away

"Wow I never thought or knew our sweet calm never angers loses control or uses profanity Sebastian had a wicked humor side to him," Fin exclaimed

"I find I rather like it," Mey Rin exclaimed

"It makes him even sexier," moon eyed hugging himself Grell gushed

"Aw kids I think Grelly is in love," Kagome teased "I think it's adorable," she added gently pinching his cheeks

"Oh come on give a girl a break," the blushing moon eyed reaper replied

"A sexy shade of red for the wedding gown I think he does love red," Mey Rin teased

With Ciel

'I will get him if it kills me' Ciel mentally fumed

Later that day

"I mean it Inuyasha put them back or die an early death," she promised the hanyou holding a bunch of the decorated Jack O Lantern shaped and faced Halloween cookies she had just finished "Drop em or I'll,"

"What spank me? Kagsy don't stop I-I am s-so close yes-yes oh kamis it-it's the big one better stand back, oh hell yeeeees," the faking a real looking orgasm hanyou taunted "D-don't touch let the moment last bit longer,"

"I'll kill you ya perverted warped minded needs to be neutered stealing treats and sweets thieving mutt,"

"Hah as if I'm afraid of a girl,"

"Want to test that theory Rover?" the irate female said

"Eh, as if you can stop me," he was going too far and taunting way too much

"Then let me show you and help you know the lovely near death experience killing you outright would be to kind and merciful,"

"Wench keep dreamin,"

"Buckle up and get ready lizard lips cause it is going to be a long bumpy painful ride," the now meat clever wielding female promised murder burning in her chocolate brown eyes "Buckle up big boy it's going to be one hell of a ride,"

"Shit,"

"Shit yes dog boy,"

"Now, now Kagome you know you don-don't mean it," the fearing for his life male stammered it was too late she lunged murderously intent on making fresh doggy cutlets "Crap," he dropped the pilfered goodies

"Put me down, put me down, put me down dammit," she screamed when lifted off the ground by a long arm securely wrapped around her waist "Pretty please if you do I will won't kill him all the way," her arms and legs flailing like a child, silence "Okay I will only kill him a little bit," she said grinning at her captor as she looked up "Pretty please?

"I am afraid I cannot allow it," the male answered

"Oh come on just a little bit" pretty please? She pled "what if I settle for hacking his pretty lustrous silky silver hair off to the nub?

Inuyasha gulped "No way wench" don't ya think that's going too far? I'd rather just have you kill me,"

"You value your hair more than your life unbelievable," entering the kitchen Sebastian exclaimed "You are rather fortunate if my kitchen was wrecked you surely would be lying dead on the floor," he smiled seeing the mortified look on Inuyasha's face "Master Ciel I see you've found yourself a lovely Halloween treat,"

"Yes she was about to carve our gardener into cutlets," still holding the now limp in defeat miko up off the floor

"I'm not totally defeated," the sadistically smiling with an almost demonic glint in her eyes woman said

"Y-you wouldn't," Inuyasha stammered

"Sit" crash

"Damn I keep forgetting about these fucking beads,"

"Inuyasha?

"Yeah what? He snapped

"Siiiiit" bam

"Ohhh I hate wenches,"

"Hm, hm, hm, hm," the happy little female hummed "Um you can put me down now,"

"Maybe later," Ciel answered

"Hah?

"Young lord," Sebastian said, saying nothing more Ciel turned and left with his prize "Now what should I do about you? He stood cracking his knuckles looking at said hanyou

"Great pounce on a guy when he's down," Inuyasha griped "Thanks for nothing double crossing wench," he mumbled

Still not completely out of hearing range "Sit, sit, sit," thud

"Kagomeeeee," the hanyou bellowed

"It seems you'll not be going anywhere for a while," Sebastian taunted "Now what to do, thousands of possibilities"

With Ciel and Kagome

"You know I'll be paying him back, right?" Kagome said

"I know but won't ask. Instead I will simply await the event and for to unfold,"

"Aw so sweet of you," she teased

"Tomorrow is Halloween,"

"Hehehe I know Helloween for dogs, well except for my big baby Pluto he's a good kid," she replied with devilish humor in her voice

Kagome, and Sebastian

"Hey Bass do you smell that?" Kagome asked after catching the scent

"Yes it does smell quite good,"

"Ah hah Inuyasha's making his famous bat shaped Halloween cookies," Kagome told him

"They smell heavenly,"

"Anise, one of my favs," she said

"Mine as well,"

"Um Bass what do you say we have some fun?

"You have a plan?

"Oh you know it," she replied

Inuyasha froze in horror at the sight before him as he reentered the kitchen, he could not believe the injustice of it all how dare someone do this? His breath caught in his throat rendering him unable to speak, four of his babies lay side by side on the center of the kitchen table with a word on each one all four spelling _**guess who was here?**_ Looking and finding nothing but crumbs on the large tray he had left his cookies on to cool the switch in his brain had turned off. He grabbed fist fulls of his hair as if he were going to rip it out at the roots, then he heard something that snapped him out of his daze and back to reality

'Mmm" some moaned

He looked "Do you know how long it took me to make those things? All of the hard work I put into it, these things don't make themselves you know, I can't believe you two ate all of them" the hanyou bit "Look at you thieving bastards eating my babies,"

"Oh it's all right when you do it to us though" hah? Kagome replied

"Yes and after all the work we put into cooking meals and treats," Sebastian reminded as he and Kagome continued eating some of the cookies

"I'lllll kill you," he bellowed

"Get used to it big boy as long as you rob us we're going to return the favor," Kagome shot back "Now you know how it feels" doesn't feel good does it?

"My bats you ate all of my bat babies," the hanyou complained "And-and they were all wearing smiles too,"

"Yeah and that made them taste even better and sweeter," Kagome needled

"Would you be so kind as to make another batch? I find I am still hungry" Sebastian replied

"Me to," Kagome added "Anise my fav," she licked her lips

"Three trays of cookies and you two bums have the balls to want more" are you fucking kidding me?

"Sure" why not? Kagome answered

"Yes remember share and share alike," licking crumbs off his lips Sebastian said

"Share huh, well in that case you two won't mind sharing the pain" will ya? Inuyasha spat shaking his tightly clinched fist at them

"I feel that I need a walk now," Sebastian said

"I'll join you I am a bit bloated," Kagome added

"You two are so dead there are no ways to measure how much," Inuyasha snapped

"You steal and eat ours so it's fair trade," Sebastian shot back

"Screw that all you two sleazy a holes left behind were crumbs, crumbs I cannot believe it. At least I leave something behind," they smirked "Funny, hah? I'll show ya funny," cracking his knuckles they turned to run he was about to leap at them

"Sit" bam they ran

"Damn you Ka-go-me," the furious hanyou yelled, after the subjugation spell wore off he got up to go and find them

Ciel, Bard, Mey Rin, and Fin entered the kitchen "What's this? Mey Rin said

"Guess who was here? Now that's funny as hell," Bard added

"They ate his cookies and left that message priceless," Ciel exclaimed

"What the hell is this?" after making a discovery Mey Rin said

"What is it? The males asked

"Look at this they really didn't eat all of them," she answered they looked, hidden behind some jars was a drawstring bag with the cookies in it as Mey Rin discovered when she found and opened it

"Seems our two cooks are taking revenge on the thief of their food and treats," smiling evilly Ciel added "I love it," he laughed

"About time I say," grinning Bardroy said

**Doggie and kitty treat, Happy Halloween my love, surprise in the lords office**

Early Halloween morning

"Hm,hm hm" Kagome hummed

"Hey wait a minute, Kagome dear what have you done?

"Nothing Just making some tea,"

"That doesn't smell like any tea I know of," Ciel replied "What kind is it?

"It is a special blend,"

"Nothing hah, care to enlighten me?

"It's not what I've done it is what I am about to do," she answered

"Come on out with it or someone will not be getting any sleep tonight,"

"Why master Ciel, is that you being naughty? Didn't know ya had it in you, you little closet perv"

"If you really want to know stay in the kitchen with me and see," she answered

"Oh I would not miss this for all the money in the world," while Kagome poured her mystery tea into a spray bottle

"I smell anise and something else but cannot figure out what it is,"

"You will not have long to wait now," she said

"Evil woman,"

"Why thank you my lord you do not know the half of it," the smiling woman replied

"Please call me Ciel,"

"Okay Ciel,"

Sebastian's highly sensitive nose picked up the scents and his keen demon hearing heard the entire conversation, filled with maddening curiosity and need to know he moved at lightning speed making a beeline straight for their location

"I will not be left out," Bard said

"Welcome to our private party," Kagome greeted she looked ahead "Here we go boys,"

Three sniffs "What the hel? Inuyasha started but was cut off "Damn it wench what the fuck? He was interrupted by

"Meow"

"Woof"

"Oh no hell no, I did not just hear that la,la,la,la,la," the poor hanyou with his hands clamped over his pinned back against his skull ears trying to drown out reality "Damn it, what the hell did you spray me with?"

"Oh look their like tiny little search beacons folding against his head when not in use,"

"Woof pant woof,"

"Meow purr," Pluto and the cat responded

"No gods damn it wench what the hell did you spray me with?" Inuyasha growled then sniffed "You dirty wench, why I outta," then bolted

"What spank me daddy, spank me?' Kagome taunted "Oh I'm so turned on don't tease me like that,"

The others "Cough, holy mother,"

"Oh crap damn you Kagome," the half demon bit then ran through the kitchen door

"Hey where's Sebastian? Fin asked "He wouldn't want to miss this,"

"Probably found a nice spot to have a front row seat to watch the chase," Bard answered

"Oh damn you, you flea bag leave me alone," Inuyasha snapped

"Woof, woof, woof," barking was Pluto's response

"Um Kagome what exactly was in that tea you sprayed him with," Mey Rin Inquired

"Anise,"

"We got that part but what is the other thing?" Ciel asked

"Anise mixed with a double dose of lovely catnip, now he is a kitty nipping and dog licking good a special intoxicating treat,"

"Bloody hell," Bard, and Fin said

"Pure evil genius" Ciel complimented

"He is paying for trying to swipe my Halloween cookies," grinning Kagome told them

"Where the hell did he come from? Bard asked

"Oh my he is a beauty yes he is," Mey Rin commented

"Sebastian will love this you all know how much he loves and favors them," Ciel exclaimed. They watched as the beautiful horsed black cat joined Pluto in hot pursuit

"Kagome damn you, you will be sorry for this that is a promise," she smiled sadistically "You two gross keep eew your lips and tongues to yourselves, eww stop this is disgusting," he griped as the cat nipped and Pluto licked "And you Pluto you canine traitor I hate dogs,"

"Never thought I would live long enough to see this day a hating himself canine," Kagome teased

"Stop you two mutts, had to remind me didn't ya wehch," Inuyasha snapped

"Bet you like the nice kitty, hah," she needled "Bet that is the most tongue action you've ever had or thought you'd see and get," imitating his perverted ways

"It should be you giving it, bet you taught him how, hah?" he vengefully shot back "Freakin mangy fur ball, great being chased by a giant pussy and me being a dog how humiliating,"

"Hissss," the cat responded swatting his butt with his paw

"Oo he's getting a kitty spanking," laughing Mey Rin teased

"Oh boy I have two beautiful babies now, Pluto and let's see what can we call the cat, ah prince, yes that's it Prince because he's royalty," Kagome gushed

"Damn it Kagome get snow mutt and crotch kitty the hell off of me ow," Inuyasha shrieked when Prince swatted his butt again

"Come see mommy when you're done boys I have nice fresh steak and fish for my big strong boys," Kagome called out Pluto barked, and Prince meowed

"Seriously, I wonder where he came from?" Fin exclaimed

"Me too," Kagome replied

Ah Kaggy my pet that beautiful raven black cat is Bassy," smiling wickedly Grell told her

"Shit cat demon forgot about that, catnip drives em bonkers like mortal cats and anise does the same to dogs. So our dear Bassy is reliving his kitten days how adorable. Oh well double bonus can't beat that,"

"Sebastian's a demon, what?" Bard, and Fin exclaimed with shock

"And nobody bothered to tell us," Bard said

"It explains a lot his inhuman speed and strength," Fin commented

"Every cat and dog in the neighborhood will to," Ciel added "Lovely happy Halloween all its Sebastian's Halloween hell," he laughed "Look he is like a giant kitten. This is excellent blackmail material,"

"Kaggy what the bloody hell did our favorite puppy do to draw your wrath? Grell asked

"Remember the Jack O Lantern cookies I made for the Halloween party?

"Yes,"

"The little rat tried to swipe half of them and they had barely cooled down yet,"

"Why does our puppy love pain? Sad" Grell said

"Not only that before that event numerous times he has tried swiping Sebastian's pastries and cakes and my blueberry muffins and cookies. I swear he's going to get fifty million cavities, wait a minute" can dogs or dog demons get cavities?

"Look kiddies Pluto is on one side and Bassy on the other," Grell pointed out

"Oh boy look with Inuyasha in the middle it's a cat hanyou and dog sandwich," Kagome joked

"Cute little hanyou," the females and Grell gushed

"Me thinks they're going to bestest buddies sharing one target," Ciel said

"Boys? Kagome called

"Woof"

"Meow" the cat and dog responded

"Don't chip a fang or a claw,"

"Thanks a lot for nothing rotten double crossing wench," Inuyasha yelled back

"You're welcome let me know if I can help more,"

"With you as a friend who the hell needs enemies," he bit

"Thieving dogs never prosper,"

That night at the party

Two were missing, Sebastian was not expecting what he was about to discover he opened the door and went wide eyed with shock then grinned "Should I prepare a wedding?

Something wizzed by Sebastian side stepped easily dodging the tea cup that hit the door "You may instead prepare your funeral," Ciel replied

"Your aim is off young lord" has something happened to tire you? Ciel growled

"Hold still you squirming cat and I shall show you perfect aim,"

What grinning Sebastian saw was Ciel sitting on his office chair with Kagome sitting on his wearing only the blanket and his arms wrapped around her. Ciel was eighteen and was more than ready to bring a suitable female into his life, after being turned into a demon he knew he'd never be able to stay with a normal woman they'd grow old he would not. But Kagome was different not only was she a miko she knew well of demons and their ways making her perfect for him, marriage was for humans but mating was demon marriage without all the red tape of a wedding, but he planned on marrying her by human tradition as well

"You've finally taken a mate, why I sincerely thought I was going to have to enter you into a monastery," Sebastian teased

"That's it I am going to kill you," Kagome leaned in whispering something in his ear causing his face to pale than tint pink with a faint blush. Than he smirked "Sebastian I would like you to prepare a wedding only the best,"

"As you wish my lord, I would be more than honored nothing but the best for you,"

"You are mistaken," Ciel replied

"Oh, and how?"

"For you and Mey Rin," the young lord was enjoying this

"Cough, surely you jest,"

"Not at all, you will make the perfect pair, best get started no need in waiting," Ciel continued

"I think not,"

"And why not?" Ciel asked

"She is currently mated to Inuyasha," that put a smirk on the butlers face

"Nice I am happy for them. Oh well there's always Grell he really loves you," behind that innocent angelic face Ciel was a sadistic one when he wanted to be

"Perhaps you can take him on as a second wife, it is something to consider," Kagome fought hard to stifle a laugh "I take my leave there are things I must attend to my lord," Sebastian was just as sadistic

"Yes your wedding, hop to man it is priority," Ciel teased, Sebastian groaned

"Remember second wife best of all he cannot get pregnant," Sebastian needled and swiftly readied himself to leave, this time Kagome couldn't hold back and laughed

"Want some more catnip kitten? Teasing Ciel got him good Sebastian growled lowly "For someone who claims to hate dogs you sure sound like one now," he needled getting the last word

"You two are worse than kids,"

"Bassy my love where are you?"Ciel, and Kagome stilled to listen

"Marvelous" still standing on the threshold of Cilel's open office door frustrated Sebastian exclaimed, then a smirk spread across his lips "Inuyasha was looking for you,"

"Uh oh," Kagome whispered

"The puppy really?" Grell asked

"Yes he said something about you him Mey Rin and a three way,"

"Really? Well than I must find him fast before he changes his mind," Sebastian mentally patted himself on the back, "Oh happy Halloween to me," Grell said and took off without another word

"Sebastian?

"Yes?

"You are truly vile," smirking Ciel exclaimed

"True, but be that as it may" don't you have some plumbing to repair? Sebastian closed the door and left

**Lime starts**

"Happy Halloween my love" now where we? Oh yes you whispered something in my ear about polishing a desk top" being still connected as they were he thrust the lower half of his body upward "Is this a good warm up?

"Ah, pervert" she teased feeling a rush of flaming lust and passion shoot through her "Oo more. I think Ciel junior, Ah fuck," she groaned insane with lust when he thrust upward hard hitting a sweet spot "Wants to have, ah shit, another ah go," she gasped panting near breathlessness "Ciel don't stop," and a certain part clinched around his

"A tight grip I see someone agrees with me,"

"Oh shut up," Kagome replied and kissed him, he groaned in heated pleasure when she thrust down hard on him

**Lime continues**

With the party group

"Where is master Ciel? Bard asked

"He has taken a wife mate, they are currently renewing their vows so to speak," Sebastian answered

"Bout friggin time," Inuyasha the wise ass jokingly added, seeing them on the goody table "Hey they really didn't eat all my bat cookies," he exclaimed

"So Sebastian, will she be a demon now to? I'd hate to see master Ciel who has finally found true happiness have her only a few years then end up alone when she died" concerned Mey Rin asked

"Yes as you were she is marked and mated, it is also the young masters nineteenth birthday today the only good one he's had in years,"

"Oh goody another reason to celebrate today," she said

"Happy Halloween everybody lets party, plus I can have all the treats I want without wenchypoo trying to kill me," the gloating hanyou exclaimed

"Go overboard and we can have another round of catnip kitty meets puppy," Sebastian jabbed "So worry not I am here for you," Inuyasha groaned in defeat

"Hey how come Grell's tied up on the chair? Just arriving undertaker asked

"Freak said something about me Mey Rin and him having a three way, ick,"

"He's unconscious," undertaker said

"Yep I knocked him out with one hit and Mey Rin tied the creep up," Inuyasha told him "His life ain't worth a cent when the poor bastard wakes up he's dead when she gets her hands on him, turns out my minx has a jealous streak ten miles wide and doesn't like to share,"

"Yes our sweet innocent looking Mey Rin is quite deadly," smiling Sebastian said

"Yep she ain't wearing that she devil costume for nothing," Inuyasha added 'Wow my minx so sexy I can't wait to peal her like a grape later on' he thought

"Hehehe I can hardly wait," Undertaker said "Where is master Ciel?

"In his office getting married," smartass Inuyasha answered

"Hah?

"Our young lord has taken a mate and will later marry by human tradition Kagome," Sebastian explained

"Wonderful," undertaker replied "Let's party boys,"


End file.
